So Ashley sent a letter home with a therapy homework she was told to do from her therapist her mission. It was to write a letter to my mom and to write a letter that you could see her write to you.
I thought it was an amazing letter. I felt that I should do this as a therapeutic release. And it was. I don't think I cried so much as I wrote this. I'm not the best writer but it really helped. You don't have to read it. But it's a safe place to put it.
Dear Mom,
There is so much to tell you. Some things I've learned, some things I've felt and somethings that I feel that are from you.
First off I miss you. I miss your smile, laughter and your love. I'll forever be blessed with the time you took time to teach me to be better.
I've learned so much from you. You taught me to serve, to help when I see a need. To be less judgmental and see what or why they were that way. You've taught me that time with your kids is a time to learn and teach. You've given me the love of the gospel and temples. I remember you and dad were called as temple workers and saying prayers before you would leave.
You taught me to love myself even after all I had done in my younger years. To forgive and to allow myself to forgive my own problems.
You taught me to be more kind when others were mean to me. To love and respect my grandparents. To also love my in laws when times were hard with them.
You taught me that my siblings will always be there and to love them the most. To treat my brother and sister in laws as my own siblings.
I wouldn't be the woman I am today if it wasn't for your love for so many.
You gave me the knowledge of cooking, love of the outdoors, frugality (even though it is still a struggle not to buy cute things), to serve family first, to love all children. You don't know this but even though you and dad struggled you taught me to love my husband to the fullest. To give 110% and expect nothing in return.
You taught me how to work hard for what you want. To expect nothing when doing it.
Since you've been gone I don't feel you like Rana does. I don't sense you the way she does. But I feel you as I serve. My heart is happy and full of love. When I do temple work my heart is full of gladness to help those who have not been through for their own endowment or be sealed to their families is when I feel you welcoming them with open arms. Or giving them a big hug for me. I feel a knowledge of knowing that they are exuberant to be able to have their families with them.
I feel the happiness you would feel seeing a new baby, or laughing children, the kids as they play with their cousins. I feel the love as I rock babies into a slumber. I feel the love of my husband. Feeling like my heart will explode because I love him so much.
I know that when I feel these things. That they are only a glimpse of how you feel in heaven. My own little piece from you.
I hope I am doing things the way i should so i can talk, laugh, walk holding hands with you heaven.
Love you so much,
Karla Kim
Dear Karla Kim,
How I miss you, I miss our talks and lunch dates. I miss your husband's humor and your children's hugs.
But know that I'm doing great. That I can hear and read without glasses. I'm enjoying the work I'm doing for those who need it here in the spirit world. It's do beautiful. Colors are so vibrant and the sky is clear and full of beauty.
You make me happy serving as much as you can. Your voice is sweet and gentle. Your sweet singing voice as you sing to your children makes me happy.
You are stronger than you know. You have a passion for knowledge and for wisdom. I know that if you study and prayerfully read the scriptures, attend the temple and do your callings with that passion. You will know the things you desire.
I hope you know that I love you. I love you so much.
Help Ashley when she comes home. To remember how much I love her. Help her as she chooses a husband that I am helping as much as I can on this side as much as I can.
Help those who are having a harder time about me not being there to help them in their time of need.
Help and love Ashlynn. As I'm nut there to hold and love her baby. Help her as she adjust to being a new mom. Help Cora as she misses me so much. Help her to know that I'm there when she cries for me. To know that I'm there to listen to her pleas to the Lord for help. To let her know that the Lord is very aware and is trying to show her ways to be happy again.
Help Rana as she is far away from the family. That I am also there for her. That she feels me in other ways than others do.
I want Troy to know that heaven is real, God and our savior is there for him. All he needs to do is pray. I love for him to return to the church. That church is a place to help us learn more, to teach our children and to help us grow.
Be there to help your dad. And if he chooses to remarry. Then be there to support him. For no man should be alone.
Last I want to let you know that I am proud of what you have and will do. Keep doing your best. Always remember the love I have for you.
Love,
Mom
Dear Mom,
There is so much to tell you. Some things I've learned, some things I've felt and somethings that I feel that are from you.
First off I miss you. I miss your smile, laughter and your love. I'll forever be blessed with the time you took time to teach me to be better.
I've learned so much from you. You taught me to serve, to help when I see a need. To be less judgmental and see what or why they were that way. You've taught me that time with your kids is a time to learn and teach. You've given me the love of the gospel and temples. I remember you and dad were called as temple workers and saying prayers before you would leave.
You taught me to love myself even after all I had done in my younger years. To forgive and to allow myself to forgive my own problems.
You taught me to be more kind when others were mean to me. To love and respect my grandparents. To also love my in laws when times were hard with them.
You taught me that my siblings will always be there and to love them the most. To treat my brother and sister in laws as my own siblings.
I wouldn't be the woman I am today if it wasn't for your love for so many.
You gave me the knowledge of cooking, love of the outdoors, frugality (even though it is still a struggle not to buy cute things), to serve family first, to love all children. You don't know this but even though you and dad struggled you taught me to love my husband to the fullest. To give 110% and expect nothing in return.
You taught me how to work hard for what you want. To expect nothing when doing it.
Since you've been gone I don't feel you like Rana does. I don't sense you the way she does. But I feel you as I serve. My heart is happy and full of love. When I do temple work my heart is full of gladness to help those who have not been through for their own endowment or be sealed to their families is when I feel you welcoming them with open arms. Or giving them a big hug for me. I feel a knowledge of knowing that they are exuberant to be able to have their families with them.
I feel the happiness you would feel seeing a new baby, or laughing children, the kids as they play with their cousins. I feel the love as I rock babies into a slumber. I feel the love of my husband. Feeling like my heart will explode because I love him so much.
I know that when I feel these things. That they are only a glimpse of how you feel in heaven. My own little piece from you.
I hope I am doing things the way i should so i can talk, laugh, walk holding hands with you heaven.
Love you so much,
Karla Kim
Dear Karla Kim,
How I miss you, I miss our talks and lunch dates. I miss your husband's humor and your children's hugs.
But know that I'm doing great. That I can hear and read without glasses. I'm enjoying the work I'm doing for those who need it here in the spirit world. It's do beautiful. Colors are so vibrant and the sky is clear and full of beauty.
You make me happy serving as much as you can. Your voice is sweet and gentle. Your sweet singing voice as you sing to your children makes me happy.
You are stronger than you know. You have a passion for knowledge and for wisdom. I know that if you study and prayerfully read the scriptures, attend the temple and do your callings with that passion. You will know the things you desire.
I hope you know that I love you. I love you so much.
Help Ashley when she comes home. To remember how much I love her. Help her as she chooses a husband that I am helping as much as I can on this side as much as I can.
Help those who are having a harder time about me not being there to help them in their time of need.
Help and love Ashlynn. As I'm nut there to hold and love her baby. Help her as she adjust to being a new mom. Help Cora as she misses me so much. Help her to know that I'm there when she cries for me. To know that I'm there to listen to her pleas to the Lord for help. To let her know that the Lord is very aware and is trying to show her ways to be happy again.
Help Rana as she is far away from the family. That I am also there for her. That she feels me in other ways than others do.
I want Troy to know that heaven is real, God and our savior is there for him. All he needs to do is pray. I love for him to return to the church. That church is a place to help us learn more, to teach our children and to help us grow.
Be there to help your dad. And if he chooses to remarry. Then be there to support him. For no man should be alone.
Last I want to let you know that I am proud of what you have and will do. Keep doing your best. Always remember the love I have for you.
Love,
Mom
4 comments:
That was really beautiful. It made me cry. Love you!
This seems like a great way to honor your mom and to do something that's cathartic. I'm not sure I can do something like this yet. I've talked to her through my prayers (if that makes sense). But, I'm not sure what she'd say back.
What a healing thing to do! I'm sure your mom was right next to you with her arm around you while you were expressing such tender feelings!
Tears in my eyes. These letters are beautiful!
Post a Comment