To many of you Coda is a thing for music.
Coda:a passage which brings a movement or piece to a conclusion through prolongation.
I learned that in Jr.High for orchestra. Yes once upon a time I played the violin. Can I now.............er.... maybe if I tried really hard it would come back to me. LOL I cannot for the life of me do a vibrato though.
Now on with my topic. C.O.D.A stands for Children Of Deaf Adults. I am one. I have deaf parents whom I love so much. But life as a CODA has a lot of up's and down's. I thought I would share some of these with you.
Down's *always start with bad then go with the good.
They don't understand WHY in the world we LOVE music so much. Why it is such a BIG part of our lives. Ugh I hated that I as a person wasn't allowed to have a lot of music growing up. I mean yeah we listened to things on tape in the car and at bedtime from a tape player. BUT did I know there was such a thing as a radio? LOL I grew up on church music and John Denver Disney music. Because that is what my grandma and my mom would buy.
So when I found out there was such thing as other songs.... I was in HEAVEN! Now most songs now are not good. Lust, hate, rape, immorality *Bee Gee's have a song about that* Anyways.....
So I fell in love with music even more. Classical music is actually one of my favorite music in the world. It just is so peaceful and you can totally make up your own story to it.
Ok now i am totally rambling. Now on to reason 2
They are very BLUNT! And when I mean blunt I mean it. I went to the Deaf Ward. (that is where LDS members that are deaf meet for church) To visit after I had Ethan. (gained like 80lbs with him) One of the sisters from that ward was like "Karla you have gotten so FAT!" I mean without even blinking she just was like Dude you are fat. Yeah it kinda gets to me still. But for the most part I try to just look past it. Mmmmmmmmm Maybe that is why I am so hard on myself..... I think so. I also mean my parents are blunt too. Sometimes its not bad. But when you are not doing so well in any area of your life they will let you know and not in the most kind way either.
They are L O U D! Gah people are always like "Oh wow you must have had such a quiet home" LOL NO, not even close. Our house was like a zoo. If you watch some home videos of when we were younger. Uh... yeah our TV was like at volume 50+ at all times. I am amazed that I still can hear. And camping with them. You have to bring ear plugs. They don't know when to be quiet. And they don't know when they are being to loud. *rolls my eyes in full laughter*
They Cannot relate to you when it comes to many friends. Not to say deaf people dont have lots. They do. But I mean if they are merged into a hearing school. They usually only have one or two friends and those friends are CLOSE. Unlike me where I have a new friend every time I go somewhere. LOL I love it.
That brings me to my next point. Now this one is good and bad. So start off with the bad then I will go with the good then give you the Good stuff.
Interpreting EVERYTHING! I started doing this at a very young age. I would have to sign everything to them when people were talking to me. My grandmother was worried for my safety because I was so used to people. I HATED it. I still dont like to do it. I know it sound petty and selfish. I still do it time to time. BUT I do NOT like it. I dunno I always hated when people were like "Hey you know sign. That is so cool can you teach me some???" Or it was "You know sign." then they would flap their hands wildly in the air and say "What did I just say?"
SO A N N O Y I N G!
The good. I made friends really easy. I mean I still do. Not to be like "Man I am so awesome! People just are drawn to my awesomeness" LOL Naw its not that. I can read people. I know what makes them uncomfortable. I can tell when I have either hurt them or said something wrong just by their body language. I also Have a real nak for lip reading. Muwahahahha So I can watch someone from far away and know what they are saying.
Now GOOD
You can talk all night long at a sleep over and you don't keep your parents awake.
They LOVE to do things out doors.
They treat most people like family. Once you are "in" you are in for life. The Deaf culture keeps tabs on you when you want to be kept up on or not. Its a good and bad thing. Like when they Gossip it isn't always nice.
Which is a bad thing I have picked up on. And I try to not do. But like most human women we just do it.
They have amazing sight, smell, and feeling of vibrations. Like when I thought my parents couldn't tell if I had some music up loud. My dad would come in and turn it down. I would get upset at my siblings but most of the time they were out. So I asked and he said "I could feel it" Bah stupid science ;)
I have always been ashamed till now to be a CODA. I don't know why. Its silly. I guess I just didn't like being the center of attention. I acutally don't enjoy it now still. I would rather people watch. LOL that is another thing that Deaf people do they will watch. They seem creepy at times but they are just either intrigued or really bugged by you.
SO I hope you enjoyed this little uh...... Well LONG entry but I felt that I should put it out here. :D
3 comments:
I think it's really awesome that you're a CODA. It boosts up your cool factor with me :)
After having taken 2 semesters with Gregg Scott, I get deaf culture a little bit and I appreciate it for what it is, but think it would be extremely hard to be a CODA because you've got the etiquettes of both cultures and mixing them--particularly the blunt part of Deaf culture I can see being extremely hard because the hearing world says that's not nice to say or a good way to be. I think it is though when you're close enough to know it's not meant to be hurtful and when you've learned not to take offense. I had a group of friends like that in college. It was awesome to be with them and that honest and blunt all the time but it got me in trouble with a lot of other people I dealt with in my life.
I enjoyed reading this. It's nice to hear someone else's perspective. I'm not a CODA so I don't know what it's like.
Why do you think that the deaf are more blunt? What about being deaf leads a person to say things that (to a hearing person at least) is considered rude. Is it not considered rude between deaf people to say things like "Dang, girl, you are fat!!"? I would think that being deaf just meant that you had to move through the world a little differently, not that you didn't have the same perceptions and feelings as a hearing person. You know? So, I'm very interested by that part of what you wrote.
♥♥ Trudy
This is fascinating! I really had no idea that there was a deaf culture or that it was so different. I always felt bad for kids who live with non-English speaking parents because I see them having to translate everything for their parents and often the concepts they are translating are beyond their own comprehension. I imagine it was the same for you.
Thank you for sharing this. I'd love to know more about it. So, one question. Do your kids sign? And what do they think of communicating with their grandparents?
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