My First

So I have been to a funeral where someone was cremated.  It seemed almost normal song, prayer, good thoughts, everyone was happy and yet there was a feeling of peace and resolvent.  But I just went to my cousins funeral.... well half of one I guess.  My aunt and uncle got divorced and it got ugly during all of this.  So they cremated my cousins body and split it.  My aunt is going to wait till spring or so to dedicate a spot for her son to be buried at.  It will cost her almost 900 to do everything that she needs to.  So it will not be till spring. 
Ok anyways......  So I went.  They threw ashes and it was weird because they just said a prayer and then everyone went and threw his remains around and cried.  It broke my heart because... there was nothing said.  Nothing was mentioned of him.  I didnt know he went to the lake every weekend.  I didnt know he did other great things because NO ONE MENTIONED anything.  It was hard to have no closure.  I acutally did fine till my uncle cried then my aunt cried.  Then I lost it.

The pictures below are just things I captured.  I know some of them may break your heart.  But they asked me to really capture what happened.  So here ya go.  Dont say I didnt warn ya.

 My Aunt Carol and her Daughter Shari. My aunt is the mother.  It was just so sad.  I really cant look at this photo without feeling the things I did when this happened.  I love her so much and I wanted to share with you the pain she was in.  To say goodbye to a son who struggled with loving his family and loving someone who was lost herself.  Man I will miss my cousin so much.

 This is my place I put him to rest.  My cousin asked why I broke the roses. It is because he is not whole.  He is broken not only physically but spiritually. He was broken.  He didnt know where he wanted to go. But he had the biggest heart and best hug a cousin could give. 

 My aunt and Shari's roses.  My mom brought 30 long roses for his age.  He was my age!  I just cant fathom that.  Anyways so she gave one to all the family members and then to his closest friends and his ex wife and her family.

 A thing I made and sent to my family.  The words on the side are the second verse in the song "Tears in Heaven" If you met my cousin on the street.... Jen you would run.  But he wouldnt hurt a fly.....well as long as he wasnt drunk.  But he was a big teddy bear that LOVED motorcycles. 

 Jen you would be so proud of me.  LOL I think I mentioned Jen in this as much as my cousin.  Anyways I took a picture of all us gals. Rana, Ashley *pretty smile*, Me, Ashlynn, and Cora. It was hard to smile after that but who can blame ya right?

This was the view from the back of the river we were at.  I loved it so I wanted to share. I love you all and please let your loved ones and family know what you want done for you when you die. Because if you dont who will stop them from doing something you wouldnt want them to do.  You for sure wouldnt be. :D