Holding on to Loved Ones

This week has been quite the week.  The kids started school.  "YAY!"  and got two Dr's to give me life changing options.  YAY!  Then there was something that has made me just think. And think a lot.  First off I am a very sensitive person.  If you do not believe me ask my husband or some of my close friends.  They will tell you that I am a person who will cry if I see anyone cry.  If you don't believe them then :p.

On Friday I found out that I will be having surgeries.  Yes plural. Two more. And hopefully the last two I will ever have and ever need and will never have to go to the ER for myself.  EVER AGAIN!  So YAY.  It was a good day. Got to go shopping with my mom for my kids school things.  Got to go to Lunch and even Hobby Lobby without kids.  Which for those who still have kids at home.  Was SO NICE!  Ahhh shopping was fun.  I never have been one to like shopping but this was quite relaxing and enjoyable.

Then I got home and got onto my Facebook account and found out that a really neat sister in our ward had lost her husband.  It was in a freak accident a summer job he had in Nevada.  He had been going around the farm on a four wheeler and had wrecked.  As far as I know had never woken up.  They had just found out they were expecting their first child.  All of this was BAM right into my heart. I called a friend and asked her.  I was still in shock.  It really didn't hit me.  Then all of the sudden it hit. And every night I cry.  I cry myself to sleep.  Because I was so blessed to have a husband who is still alive. And a father who knows and loves his children and the children know their father.  It was a huge wave of emotions.  Then I had called the RS pres and she said that we should leave her alone.  I then posted this onto my Facebook account (because I am the compassionate service leader in our ward)

 “I recognize that, on occasion, some of our most fervent prayers may seem to go unanswered. We wonder, ‘Why?’ I know that feeling! I know the fears and tears of such moments. But I also know that our prayers are never ignored. Our faith is never unappreciated. I know that an all-wise Heavenly Father’s perspective is much broader than is ours. While we know of our mortal problems and pain, He knows of our immortal progress and potential. If we pray to know His will and submit ourselves to it with patience and courage, heavenly healing can take place in His own way and time.”

—Russell M. Nelson, "Jesus Christ—the Master Healer," Ensign, Nov. 2005,

Please at this time. Let us hold our husbands, children and others we hold dear tight. You never know when one will slip from this room into the next. It is happy and a beautiful place for them. But for us we are left here without them. May God bless Jessica Johnson Pickering and her family. Let us not bombard her with questions, and overwhelming things. We as a ward family will wait for her, pray for her and just be there when she is ready. We love you and love you all. Sincerely,
Karla

I cried the entire day.  Then at night I literally *yes Janelle LITERALLY sobbed myself to sleep.  Dannan held my hand and told me it was okay.  I told her I am okay.  I was just hurting for her.  I was hurting for their families.  Because Death to us is hard. But to the person who died is happy, not in pain and is with Heavenly Father.  Its like going into the temple and never coming out again.  She clasped my hands and squeezed three times.  Which is our little family thing we do to say "I LOVE YOU!" when you just can't speak. I returned the love and the put her little arm around me till she fell asleep.   

Then last night as we were saying our family prayers.  Logan was chosen to say it.  We help all the kids with names of missionaries and those who are hurting or other wise inflicted.  We he looked at Seth for direction on who the family name was to bless that was hurting.  "He said Pickerings to comfort them"   Then he said those words then out of no where he proceeded to say "And bless that they will know that it was his time to go.  That it was time for Heavenly Father to have him there.  To have him help in heaven."    And then he closed the prayer gave hugs and proceeded to bed.  

I waited till I got into the car to pick up some medication for Dannan, Logan and I.  And I just lost it.  I sat there and thought.  This kid is amazing sometimes.  Well he is amazing anyways but he surprises me.  He will just say the most spiritual things at the most interesting times.  I am  blown away at how much he knows.  I KNOW in my heart he is special.  I mean don't get me wrong all of us are special in our own ways.  And his is just that he knows when and what needs to be said.  Like for instance when I was done being pregnant with Dannan That morning he said "And bless mommy to have the baby Dannan come out and be with us today."  My water broke that morning. It was amazing.  There have been times when he will bless someone we didn't know needed it.  Then we find out later that they were sick, or hurting, or struggling with something. 

This is BIG. If you know Logan he is a happy go lucky kid, then he can have his "moments" of Anger.  I mean pitty on me anger fits.  That can last up to two hours.  Then he just BAM hits things like this out.  Man alive. I am so blessed to have him in my life to make sure that I stay on the path to be sure to get back to Heaven.  Because I sure would love to be there when he has no worldly things going on in his little mind to make sure that he can be all he can be.  

You guys I am so blessed.  Family, friends even my frenimies.  Because I don't have enemies. Well I don't think I do.  If I do then Ummmm I am sorry for whatever I did.  My life is changing.  And it's going to be great.  I know it is.  And with that I leave you with this.  If we live our lives right.  We will end up right. And if we are wrong in any religion then I want to be a dolphin when I die and am made into something else.  LOL I deserve to just hang out in the ocean and play and have babies and family with me all the time.  Ok.  I guess that is all. :D